Begin at the beginning, and when you have reached the end...stop

Hello. I am writing this journal in order to try to peice together a better understanding of who I am sexually. I suppose this needs some explanation. You see, I am not like everyone else in the world, in that I have a fetish. Well, several to be exact, but for the most part I am a Macrophile. But lately I've been feeling that there is much more to me, and that I have been repressing it in public. Why? I don't know. I've been thinking about that for years, and this is one of the things that I'd like to adress with this journal.

Before I get too carried away with things I'd like to do, let's begin at the beginning.
The first time my sexuality manifested itself was when I was seven or eight. I remember a couple of episodes of "Captain Planet". The strangest one was about a giant Smog Monster created by the evil blonde character. I'm unsure if it was specified in the episode that the Smog Monster was female, or whether I pushed female characteristics onto it myself, but for some bizarre reason I felt a thrill that I now understand as Primitive Lust. The other episode many Macrophile's will be familiar with I'm sure. It is the episode where the same blonde villianess shrinks the Planeteers. This feeling of Primitive Lust isn't connected with pre-pubescent erection, it's just a kind of feeling in my gut like the feeling you get when you go down the first Hill of a roller-coaster. The next memory I have of this era was laying on my bed imagining that I was a shrunken woman in the Hand of a Giant. I'm sure there were probably other instances, most likely dreams. I think the fact that there were dreams is significant, and I wish I could remember one.

Ok, I think that's enough delving for tonight. I'd like to pick it up next time with memories of when I first understood what Macrophilia was.

So here is the first post, nothing to report really.